Charge Of The Brief Brigade

Company will report at 06:30 hours in battle order. All ranks will parade with automatic weapons in a state of readiness, boots in a state of good repair and steel helmets at a jaunty angle.

Bras and briefs will also be worn.

The forces of the revolution will be defeated. The counter-revolutionary army, under our beloved blonde General Carla, will be victorious.

Their glorious exposed bodies will reduce the enemy to helplessness. Bullets will then be fired. The traitors will fall.

Once again The Magnificent Two will triumph. Long live Morecambe and Wise, whose heroic achievements will be commemorated on film and shown throughout the land this year.

This is the war game on the lighter side.