Do you think the great British double act is a thing of the past, and what about people like Ant & Dec, do you think they could ever reach the same level?
I’ve watched Ant & Dec, and I could never tell which one was Ant. I do know now.. I’ll tell you how you find out… you stamp on the floor and the one starts running about is Ant… That’s a new joke… fresh…

Eric and Ern played theatres and clubs, working the variety circuit and learning their trade, it seems there is not that route anymore…
Any acts don’t get the opportunity to show themselves anywhere now do they. They can’t flex their muscles, there is nowhere for them go, certainly nowhere on television.

Have you seen any of the new DVD’s just released?
No. I know about them, but I refuse to pay for my own material. You’d have thought the BBC would have sent me one….

We’ll have a word for you….
The next DVD series, series 3, features the Montreux special.. do you recall anything about that?
I recall that I didn’t go. I wrote it, and they were making arrangements to go, the flight and hotels, and Johnny Ammonds said to me; “I won’t bother asking you Eddie because I know you don’t want to go.”
I said no I don’t. I just hated being away from home.

You didn’t see many of the show did you, you stayed in Liverpool, is that why?
No. It was the pressure. It was so immense. If you look at the shows, there was sometimes thirteen a year. Twelve, plus the Christmas show. There was no time in between really to go down and watch. I did a few times, when ever I could. Graham McCann said in his book, if Morecambe & Wise had been in America, they would have had fourteen writers. But here there was just me.

In your book, you mention different ways of visualising Eric and Ern to help you write. And there is a lot of new material in there. Do you still write with them in mind?
Oh yes. I can do it now, but where is it going? There is nowhere for it to go.
I see in the Radio Times that one of my lines has been voted the funniest line of the last decade. The one were Eric walks to the window and says; “He’ll not sell many ice creams going at that speed.” I thought that was rather nice.
That line is one of the last ones in the stage show, The Play What I Wrote. You hear the police siren and he gets out of bed and goes over to the window. You could hear the audience saying the line.

It must be nice to think that material you wrote in the 60’s and 70’ is now part of the British culture.
Yes. It makes me feel like I’m a resident of Jurassic Park. I’m nearly famous – half a star. It is nice yes. When I made Ernie the pompous author, that gave Eric so much to bounce off. I can see him now, saying to Ernie about his play;

Eric: You’ve written more belters than John Wayne has shot red Indians.
Eric: You could be Ern, another John Grisham.
Ern: I can’t play snooker.
Eric: You could be, another Bronte sister.
Ern: I can’t sing.
Eric: No, but you’ve got the legs for it.